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“Mr. Stoneworth, please explain again what you saw when you entered the kitchen”, the officer inquired, pencil and pad in hand.
“When I entered the kitchen, I spotted this…” he eyed me from head to toe with a malicious glare, “vagrant, scouring through my refrigerator. I aimed my pistol at him and advised him not to make a move. I have three small children to protect here.”
The officer jotted down his notes while nodding, giving the odd appearance of a bobble head doll. “And you Sir? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” He asked without looking at me.
“W-w-we were cold sir. We were hungry. We didn’t think anyone was home. It being the holidays and all. We’re sorry…” I tried to look humble.
Shit. I had to think fast. “Me and my dog Sir,” I said pulling out a stuffed toy from my pocket. “We were just so cold and hungry…”
Sympathy appeared in their eyes and I knew I wouldn’t be seeing any jail time this Christmas. I silently cursed Pedophile Pete for leaving me here. Where was he? Upstairs with one of the children? Or had he heard the commotion and fled?