And here is my submission, hope you enjoy:)
Two days into our honeymoon, I snuck down to the resort’s restaurant while Gilbert slept. I sat at the bar and charged a coffee and two chocolate croissants with extra butter to our room.
A young woman, sitting alone beside me who didn’t look like she’d ever indulged on a pastry in her life, spoke up, “The Honeymoon Suite? How adorable. I’m not married myself, not for a lack of trying of course,” she tapped a perfectly manicured nail on her coffee cup. “Tell me, how did you two meet?”
I had never told anyone how I’d met Gilbert, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. The morning sun shone through the window of my one-bedroom apartment, catching dust mites in its rays. I’d just sat down in my cluttered living room with a cup of hot coffee, double cream and double sugar, to flip through the local Sunday newspaper. While scrolling through the obituaries, my eyes caught an ad under the personals section on the opposite page.
FIRE SALE HUSBAND
All stock must go!
Fire sale remains. Only one hot item left.
Minimal damage, all parts in working order.
Slightly dirty interior, some melting around the middle section.
Only smells bad after it runs for a while.
Once in a lifetime deal, no down payment, expects some interest,
Act now and you’ll get this amazing deal at the low low price of
Your hand in marriage!!!
Made in America, Gilbert Brand Name
905-555-0152 serious inquiries only please
My hand was steady as it reached for the phone.
The dishes clanked down on the counter in front of me and I turned to see the young woman staring at my face. “Well”, she asked expectantly.
I forced back a wicked grin as I stuffed the first croissant into my mouth. I balanced the other croissant and the coffee cup in my hand and licked the chocolate from my chubby fingers. Through a mouthful of sweet goodness I managed to spit out the words “fire sale” as I turned and headed back to my room.
In word I had the add centered. Sadly I couldn't figure out how to do it on blogger:(